Christian singles, do you want to maximize your relationship success? Then learn how to pick people with godly character traits...as well as be a person of godly character!
Let's take a look at what healthy and satisfying relationships look like...
Christian singles tip:
Don't compromise your Christian values...set healthy boundaries.
Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach in their book Safe People that healthy relationships...
- Are safe -- emotionally, physically
- Have boundaries that are respected
- Draw you closer to God -- helping Christian singles to grow spiritually.
- Do not compromise your Christian values
In healthy relationships you will feel:
- Built up -- the relationship helps you become who God wants you to be.
- Drawn closer to others in a healthy way
- Mutual trust, respect, vulnerability, and balanced sense of give and take.
Christian singles, you will experience healthy and satisfying relationships by looking for a mate based on Christian principles and choosing to be a person of godly character.
It is common even for Christian singles to be attracted to the outside of a person: their looks, their status, their achievements, and their intelligence. But it is the inside of a person that we experience in relationships.
The time to evaluate character in others is before you get too deeply involved. As Cloud and Townsend say, "When the attachment deepens, the reasoning weakens." The scriptures warn us to "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23.
Christian singles tip:"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23.
What kind of character traits should Christian singles look for?
Ruth and Boaz, two singles from the Bible, exemplify the kind of character traits to look for in a potential mate.
Ruth's character traits were: devotion to God and to family -- the evidence of her character was in her actions. She was humble and teachable. She was focused on her responsibilities. Her faith was in God to provide for her -- she trusted Him for a future spouse. She was a woman of her word. She did what she said she would do.
Boaz was devoted to God and to his farming responsibilities. He did not let his heart become entangled and he was not distracted from his priorities. He was a man of his word. He did what he said he would do. He was a Christ-type -- he exemplified the character and work of Christ - especially in his act of redemption for Ruth.
Christian singles Ruth and Boaz both...
- Depended on God
- Followed His commands
- Reflected His character
- Becoming a person of character requires that you take ownership
You are the only one that can do it. If you have a pattern of painful relationships take an honest look at your own character traits. To find someone who can connect with you, you must be able to connect. To find someone with good boundaries you must be willing to set Boundaries in Dating
Once you have acknowledged your own negative patterns of behavior in relationships take them to the Lord and confess them for what they are...sin
Once you've identified the problems, make a plan to change. If it's poor boundaries read a book.
Set some limits. Develop a support system. Nurture the relationships that you have. Share a little bit more of who you are with safe people. Learn to take risks.Take care of personal baggage
If you have unresolved issues such as trauma, abuse, abandonment or neglect and you recognize a pattern of painful relationships--find someone who will help you like a pastor or a counselor.
When people have been traumatized by these things as children, they often need to make Changes that Heal in order to function well in close relationships in the future.
Christian singles tip:Develop a plan for spiritual growth...devote yourself to God, His word, and yield to His Holy Spirit.
Finally, Christian singles need a plan for spiritual growth. God's primary work in each of us is to conform us to the image of Christ. As you devote yourself to God and His word, and yield to His Holy Spirit, your character will change.My final word to Christian singles is make knowing and loving God a priority in your life and look for a potential mate who has committed to the same thing.
***from ma'am daniza's blog
Copyright 2004-2006 Christian-Counseling-Online.com
source: http://www.christian-counseling-online.com/christian-singles.html
Labels: beauty, Bible verses
someone sent me this email message and i just feel to share this to you because it's also what i believe in...
"I feel in my heart that it is time to address this phenomenon. As a Christian I honestly do not take kindly in mail that sort of obligates you to forward it, especially emails regarding our Lord Jesus.
First of all, there is no such thing as a wish; there is only faith that is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will never forsake you in anything, and that He will always provide for his children.
The whole "make a wish and then send to 7, etc.. People and a miracle will happen tomorrow", etc.., is all nonsense, for the word says: Ask anything in my name and it will be given.
Seek first the Kingdom of God and all things will be given.
I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you.
If God gave his only son Jesus Christ to die for us, what makes you think he will not add things to you and your life?
Secondly I think these mails mean to make us not believe in the promises of God, but it makes us believe in superstition, which is not from our Lord.
Superstition is nothing but witchcraft, because then you believe in powers of wishes and things, and not in the almighty power of God.
The word of God says: My people are going astray, because of lack of knowledge. Do not mess with the spiritual realm; if you do not understand it, you bring curses upon yourself. Do you honestly believe that in making wishes and not forwarding stuff someone can die, and phones can ring?
Thirdly, it tries to put you on a guilt trip. Those of us who know Jesus Christ, would also know that he is a gentle person, he would not force anyone to follow him, he simply knocks, and asks, the choice is still yours.
Now please don't get me wrong, I don't mind prayer chains and mails that you earnestly feel would bless someone, but these mails that leave the impression that our God is an old grumpy man upstairs that only looks for our mistakes and how he can punish us is not right. We know what a loving Father God is.
And after all, if you have accurate Bible knowledge, and if you are a spiritual person, you would know what mail to bless someone with; forcing Jesus upon people is wrong, for He himself does not do that, so please stop offending his precious name.
Rather let people know what a great friend he is and how loving he his.
Stop sending lies about Jesus Christ, and his father, stop believing in wishes, and then believe that you did the right thing and that God would take kindly to that.
Send prayer because you want someone to be blessed through it, don't tell them that if they don't, something bad will happen to them, that they will go to hell, etc. Putting some one on a guilt trip will certainly not lead them any closer to Jesus Christ or God.
God is Love, nothing but the purest form of love.
If you don't, then continue to send these e-mails, but keep in mind what you believe in you will receive, so if you believe in falseness and lies, then that is what will be in your life. Even non-Christians believe in something, most call it positive thinking. Think about it!
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free! (John 8:32)"
Labels: Bible verses, thoughts
i learned so many things today, especially from Pastor Jebo Banzuelo. here are some of his quotes gotten from different people and books:
"Failure is an event , never a person;
an attitude, not an outcome;
a temporary inconvenience;
a stepping stone.
Our response to it determines just how helpful it can be."
"Failure inside God's will is success;
success outside God's will is failure."
"Its is not what happens to you that determine how far you go in life;
it is what you do with what happens to you."
and my favorite:
"You are the way you are to be, because that's the way you want to be.
If you want to be really different, you would be in the process of changing right now."
Philippians 3:12
I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.
Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Labels: Bible verses, quotes, thoughts